Decision to be made

For the last week I have woken up with a real jaw ache, in my sleep I am gritting my teeth. We have a decision to make, well I have, my husband has made his mind up. 

Should I continue to work?

It was planned that I would be a stay at home mum, so I would have finished work this summer and I was prepared for that. 

Now there is no baby …

I let my work consume me, Sun-Thurs I belong to my job, DH has the weekends, but only the time when I am not preparing for the week ahead! I hold my hands up, that is my doing, I only feel worthwhile when I work (a different post!).

DH wants me to take a year out, to find myself beyond the classroom, to rest up, relax, improve my health and get pregnant. 

By Sunday morning I need to decide. 

I do love my job, the children, the teachers, every day is different, every day we achieve something. Unfortunately the company only grants 2 weeks maternity and all my sick days are used up, so my ‘what if’s’ stress me out. If I get pregnant I can’t take the rest days when they are needed. We timed the last two pregnancies right for the summer break. This time I am not waiting for next September, my body and hearts desire should not be on their clock! 

I think I just made my mind up, it feels like taking a step into the unknown…. 

 

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4 thoughts on “Decision to be made

  1. I can so relate to this post.. I taught for 7 years. I loved my job and quite honestly the thought of quitting scared me so much. I had anxiety about it all and I too only felt complete at work. My world was falling apart and that was something I could control. I quit anyway. Now I can’t see myself teaching, which is strange. I made the right choice. I’m still not pregnant yet, but since seeing my RE in May, all my hormone levels are now normal-which is HUGE! I was just like you.. I completely gave everything I had to teaching and my husband only saw me on the weekends and even then I was lesson planning. It was an adjustment, but coming from someone that’s been there, it is worth it to me. Thinking about you. I know this decision is tough.

  2. Handed in my resignation today, was very emotional. The responses from the all male management team were incredibly supportive. It took me a while to figure out why this decision has been so hard I realised that the only place in my life I have something to offer is in school. My self worth is entirely tied up with teaching. Losing the babies has really knocked my confidence, leaving my job will leave a big gap in my life. My hope and faith are in God for a new, exciting challenge … and a healthy pregnancy and baby.

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