For the last week I have woken up with a real jaw ache, in my sleep I am gritting my teeth. We have a decision to make, well I have, my husband has made his mind up.
Should I continue to work?
It was planned that I would be a stay at home mum, so I would have finished work this summer and I was prepared for that.
Now there is no baby …
I let my work consume me, Sun-Thurs I belong to my job, DH has the weekends, but only the time when I am not preparing for the week ahead! I hold my hands up, that is my doing, I only feel worthwhile when I work (a different post!).
DH wants me to take a year out, to find myself beyond the classroom, to rest up, relax, improve my health and get pregnant.
By Sunday morning I need to decide.
I do love my job, the children, the teachers, every day is different, every day we achieve something. Unfortunately the company only grants 2 weeks maternity and all my sick days are used up, so my ‘what if’s’ stress me out. If I get pregnant I can’t take the rest days when they are needed. We timed the last two pregnancies right for the summer break. This time I am not waiting for next September, my body and hearts desire should not be on their clock!
I think I just made my mind up, it feels like taking a step into the unknown….