New Year Quote

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New Year Quote

This was a post on a friend’s FB, I am not sure if she is the author or if she found it.

It struck a chord with me. We don’t wipe out all that has gone, we build upon it, we turn it around making a bigger, better, stronger, happier future for ourselves and those we share our lives with.

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Decision to be made

For the last week I have woken up with a real jaw ache, in my sleep I am gritting my teeth. We have a decision to make, well I have, my husband has made his mind up. 

Should I continue to work?

It was planned that I would be a stay at home mum, so I would have finished work this summer and I was prepared for that. 

Now there is no baby …

I let my work consume me, Sun-Thurs I belong to my job, DH has the weekends, but only the time when I am not preparing for the week ahead! I hold my hands up, that is my doing, I only feel worthwhile when I work (a different post!).

DH wants me to take a year out, to find myself beyond the classroom, to rest up, relax, improve my health and get pregnant. 

By Sunday morning I need to decide. 

I do love my job, the children, the teachers, every day is different, every day we achieve something. Unfortunately the company only grants 2 weeks maternity and all my sick days are used up, so my ‘what if’s’ stress me out. If I get pregnant I can’t take the rest days when they are needed. We timed the last two pregnancies right for the summer break. This time I am not waiting for next September, my body and hearts desire should not be on their clock! 

I think I just made my mind up, it feels like taking a step into the unknown…. 

 

Where does God figure in this?

This is not God’s plan for me, or any of us, of that I am sure. There are way too many promises of goodness, prosperity, fulfilment in the Bible for me to believe that he planned for me to be in this place.

Jeremiah 29:11-12

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

For me I see God as the incredible creator, from a magnificent mountains to the intricate detail of a flower, he knows what he is doing when he knits a life together in the womb, he knew my children before I knew they were there. He is my Abba Father, he is my daddy God, just as my own Dad wants so much good for me, how much more would my Father God want?

I feel robbed of my joy and that precious gift of life, as much as I believe in God I also accept that there is a devil, a force against us, he came to kill steal and destroy… Well he has robbed from me this time but he will not kill or destroy My hope or my faith. My hope and my trust is in God and the future he has for me.

The first pregnancy was ectopic, there was a blockage in my right hand tube, the second has ended as a missed miscarriage and tests have shown the baby had trisomy 9, a rare chromosome disorder. We will continue on  in hope that the next conception will result in a viable, healthy pregnancy and trusting God’s plan for us.

Philippians 3.13-14 … (slightly edited by me)

But one thing I do: (not) forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Now we are taking one step at a time …

YOU Is The Only Way To Live!

Absolutely! Choosing who you spend time with so important to the quality of your life!

Positive Outlooks Blog

Free yourself from negative people. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live. — Unknown

Happy Couple Sitting on Beach Looking at Ocean

 


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New Year, new start

We are a few days away from New Year, not looking forward to it a whole bunch… I was until last week and then I froze.

A new year means starting over and that starting over means facing fears…. will I get pregnant, will I stay pregnant, will the baby be healthy are are the forefront of my mind.

Pregnancy and babies should be exciting, anxiety should be tied up in ‘how do I’s’, not ‘will my baby live?’

Now I wipe the tears from my face and square up… what can I do to play my part?

Get healthy, lose some more weight, take my supplements, sort my diary out… and love the life I have.

Unintentionally we seem to have put life on hold, pulled back from people, that needs to change, I need to make a change.

So my resolutions are: to get out more, to open back up to people, to let go of the pain of the loss and hold onto the hope, to look after myself, to grab the opportunities to do something fun with my husband.

Think a bucket list for 2014 would be an idea….

beach holiday, fishing, kayaking, cookery course for starters …

Starting over…

When I first set up the blog it was a bit intimidating as I wasn’t sure that I had anything of value to offer. So I stopped.

In the last year I have spent quite a time searching blogs for ideas and answers that would help myself and my husband through a sad experience. The difference that it has made to my understanding, peace of mind and the way that we have moved forward has been huge. For this reason I feel that it is time to give back in the form of passing on.

Hopefully some of the thoughts and experiences that I can share will make a difference to somebody else.

Please let me know.