Crab like

My boss at works does not like shell fish. To be honest he doesn’t like much that isn’t meat or potato! Anyway, whenever we talk about going to ‘Red Lobster’ he asks us how we cope with the silent screams. We laugh at the time but I do have a sense of guilt.

Today I was in the office when a beaming, proud, new mum walked in with her four week old baby. So gorgeous, so pink, so loved. Immediately everyone swarmed round, counting fingers and toes, exclaiming delight at her little features. I couldn’t move. I let out a silent scream.

Grief is lonely and whilst the burden on a day to day can be manageable today it was crushing, I can barely breathe.